Vacations Aren't For Amateurs

If I weren’t a writer and I didn’t have a mortgage to pay along with an EDJ that requires my attendance, I would be a professional vacationer.

Vacationing requires a certain joie de vivre. An attitude of easy come, easy go. The uptightness and stress of life must be left behind. I’m not saying you can’t go on vacation and load up your schedule with a hundred things to do like mosquito-laden boating, salt-chaffed beach faring or toe-losing mountain climbing. Go for it. Just don’t call it a vacation.

One must be a pro at relaxing, drinking and general ne’er-do-welling to be a professional vacationer. Once you arrive at your vacation destination, you must shed this need to do something. Don’t be pressured by the children. Hand them over to the resort’s activity director.

You, my friend, must find a cabana, a lounger, a poolside bar. Just don’t be pressured into anything that requires more than a jaunt from your hotel room door to the amenities outside. If you can’t get to it barefoot, don’t go. If it requires the application of make-up, don’t go. If both hands are required to carry things, don’t go.

Once you arrive at your spot, stake your claim. Move a few chairs to cordon off your area. Learn the names of the poolside help. Then. Then sit back and take a deep breath of air. Crack open your book and lay it over your chest. Close your eyes.

You are almost there. Feel it? Yep, that’s professional vacationing.

There are exceptions to the rules. If someone says David Gandy is walking along the beach alone, then you may abandon your professional vacation plans and join him for a walk and anything that follows.

The next morning, you may easily return to your professional vacationing routine.

The Guy Appeal

Surely someone else feels the same way I do.

It really isn't all about looks, is it?

There is this class of men who really aren't that handsome but everything about them screams "You want me and you know it."  When you see them, you tilt your head. You ask yourself "What is it about him?"

Here's my list and why:

1) Jason Stratham

I'm going to say Jason's accent has a little something to do with his sexy. He is built very nicely too. I really can't help but like a semi-balding 40-something whose nickname in a movie is Handsome Rob. I think the screenwriters understood Jason's appeal. I'd be willing to ride in his trunk.

2) Channing Tatum

I know. I know. There is a group of women who are going to read this post and scream. They think Channing is a hot fudge sundae smothered over a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, he is that yummy but not at all in the form of a classically beautiful man. Channing's appeal to me is his smoothness - from the way he can dance, to the way he can rock a suit and when I see him cuddle in front of the camera with his wife, my ovaries nearly burst.

3) Matthew Broderick

Matthew gets a higher grade then he ought because of Ferris Beuhler but that's a story for another blog. Matthew has boyish appeal and, yes, you do have to look past his too long, middle-aged hair. But admit it, you watched the Honda CR-V commercial more than once. You want him to be the friend you get into trouble with.

4) Vince Vaughn

Even as I write Vince's name, I ask myself why I'm putting him on the list. He's the good friend, the naughty storyteller, the guy who will always be there. Nope. Not in any way attractive but I have to ask, "What is it about that guy?"

5) David Gandy

Haha! I threw him in to see if you were paying attention. I could rhapsodize all day about David but I will say this: If you take away Gandy's looks you still have a super nice guy with a great sense of style. Oh, and the accent. Foreplay with David would include him reciting the phone book. The picture below was the most unattractive I've ever seen David. :)

I'm curious about who else should be on this list and why.

The All-Seeing Eye Cover Art

I feel very fortunate to have had some excellent cover art for the eight novellas and novels I have published. The latest is in and Reese Dante has done it again.

Isadora Chapman is the all-seeing eye. She is also a member of the Society for the Advancement of Science. She is I - the ninth member of the society and the only one who must remain anonymous. Such a gift could be exploited. Such a gift should not belong to an unprotected society miss.

She has sworn to never her use her abilities for her own gain but the thoughts of one man keep her awake at night.

Coming Soon!

Here's a little snippet:

Isadora Chapman had learned to control and hide her gift at a very young age, which is why she remained anonymous to the group of professionals who formed the Society for the Advancement of Science.

Few would actually call the academics within the group scientists. Most preferred terms such as charlatan, fool, demon and lunatic.

Isadora was none of those things, only a woman who remained alone because she knew things she ought not.

She knew that Lord Hadley spied for the French during the Napoleonic Wars and worried still that he might be exposed.

She knew that Albert Finch had murdered his first wife.

She knew about ton affairs. About sexual peccadilloes. About betrayal and heartache.

She knew that her father worried about their finances. And her mother worried about her father.

She also knew that Gregory Beckwith, the Earl of Lattham, was the finest man in London—honorable, a bit rakish and with a heart full of fiery compassion.

But he did not know she was alive.

David Gandy - Memes Don't Lie

Some of the Gandy memes are hilarious and so, so true. I've collected a few for your entertainment.

A New Adventure in Publishing

I've been working on a new publishing project the past few weeks and finished it up last night. I have self-published my first short work titled The Timeless Earl.

You know me, I can't get away from historicals but this novel is a bit different. While it is Regency in essence, it also crosses genres, incorporating a little steam-punk/time travel for flavor. I think it is a bit more humorous than the historicals I generally write but includes the usual sexiness.

Lord Melvern is the first nerd I've written, but the heroine,  Millicent, is more than able to lead him in the right direction.

So where am I going with this? It is all part of a series titled Body of Knowledge. The stories will incorporate a group of scientists and intellectuals and inventors who are well ahead of their time.

Next up? The All-Seeing Eye. Isadora Chapman has the ability to read thoughts, including those of the man she loves. The man who doesn't know she exists.

The Timeless Earl is available at Amazon, Barnes/Noble and Smashwords.

My Writer Friends: Restrained and Willing by Tiffany Bryan

I just got off the phone with one of my Ellora’s Cave pals, Tiffany Bryan.

After we caught up, we got to talking about her new book, Restrained and Willing. Please note that WILLING is in all CAPS AND BIG BOLD RED LETTERS.

You don’t want to miss this one.

Here’s the blurb:

Heather has met every personal goal she’s ever set. Except one. To make all the sizzling erotic fantasies she penned in her diary a reality. And the only man who can make that happen is the handsome, dominant hunk featured in every one of those thong-soaking scenarios. The only thing standing in her way is Pierce himself and his convoluted views on commitment.
Pierce loves women, but he’s never been in love. Everything changes when he finds and reads Heather’s diary. Page after page of raw, hot disciplinary sex between the two of them starts his lust raging. She’s the one person he shouldn’t want, but he soon discovers she’s the one he needs.

And here’s the buy link:

http://www.ellorascave.com/restrained-and-willing.html

A Good Cry

I cry. I like crying. I especially like the crying that comes from happiness.

I get teary when I see videos of dogs going bonkers when their soldier owners come home from the war.

I get teary when Ty Pennington moves the bus and the family opens their front door.

I get teary when I see little kids talking about the 9-1-1 call that saved their sisters’ lives. Or parents. Or dogs.

Yep, I like crying. I also like the crying that comes from reading a good book. I love it when the heroine writes a letter to the hero telling him why she has to go. I love it when the hero sheds one tear in his lonely bed because he knows he screwed up. I love it when Gilbert Blythe is on his deathbed and Anne is reading him the dedication from her book, Avonlea Vignettes. And what does Gilbert respond?

Gilbert Blythe: Anne, There's not going to be any wedding anymore.
Anne Shirley: You're gonna get well, Gil. I know you are.
Gilbert Blythe: I called it off. It wouldn't be fair to Christine. There would never be anyone for me but you.

Sob! Wail!

Crying over romance novels might be my favorite crying of all. I love the happily ever after but it is all the sweeter to see the H/H overcome hardship and misunderstanding and hurt and failure – because then we know love conquers all. And crying makes it all better until then.

Crying is wonderful. Except when I watch Old Yeller. Then crying sucks.