There are a few things that denote the gentleman more than the manner of speaking to a servant; decision without haughtiness, condescension without familiarity, kindness with dignity, will always characterize the address of a gentleman to his dependents.
Never speak superciliously or passionately to a servant; commands given with mildness will be cheerfully obeyed; and especially avoid an imperative style of speaking to the servants of another. In requesting them to hand you anything, preface the desire with “I will thank you for so and so.” Your tone and manner must indicate that the deference is paid to your sense of propriety, and that the request is to be complied with as a matter of course.
If during a party, your servant is peculiarly awkward, do not scold or speak harshly; but if his conduct requires reproof, reserve it to a more convenient opportunity.
Servants should wait at table in white gloves.