Vacationing requires a certain joie de vivre. An attitude of easy come, easy go. The uptightness and stress of life must be left behind. I’m not saying you can’t go on vacation and load up your schedule with a hundred things to do like mosquito-laden boating, salt-chaffed beach faring or toe-losing mountain climbing. Go for it. Just don’t call it a vacation.
One must be a pro at relaxing, drinking and general ne’er-do-welling to be a professional vacationer. Once you arrive at your vacation destination, you must shed this need to do something. Don’t be pressured by the children. Hand them over to the resort’s activity director.
You, my friend, must find a cabana, a lounger, a poolside bar. Just don’t be pressured into anything that requires more than a jaunt from your hotel room door to the amenities outside. If you can’t get to it barefoot, don’t go. If it requires the application of make-up, don’t go. If both hands are required to carry things, don’t go.
Once you arrive at your spot, stake your claim. Move a few chairs to cordon off your area. Learn the names of the poolside help. Then. Then sit back and take a deep breath of air. Crack open your book and lay it over your chest. Close your eyes.
You are almost there. Feel it? Yep, that’s professional vacationing.
There are exceptions to the rules. If someone says David Gandy is walking along the beach alone, then you may abandon your professional vacation plans and join him for a walk and anything that follows.
The next morning, you may easily return to your professional vacationing routine.